The importance of being where you are. The moment.

Being a social work student has taught me plenty.  What interventions to use with specific clients. How to evaluate them. How to research. How to be unconditionally present.  How to meet clients where they are, instead of where I (as a clinician) may want them to be.

But this semester? In a class around the topic of grief and loss? I learned how to sit with my own feelings.  To be ok (or begin to be ok) with them.

Because it is not just being able to be ok sitting with clients and their feelings, it's important to be able to as an individual, be able to sit with our own.

It is so often that I think that because I have been trained in specific skills that I should have all the answers.  That I should be able to handle every situation thrown in my direction with perfection and the "right" ways.  It's a lie.

Learning to be ok with where I am as an individual, social worker or not, has been a great new way to be able to look at my life, and look at the decisions that I am very quickly going to be needing to make.

It's ok to be sad.  It's ok to grieve the end of something that I thought I was ready for.  It's ok to be happy, to continue living.  To continue growing.  To continue to make choices and decisions because without them, you are stagnant. Unchanging. Because without making a decision, you are, in fact, choosing.

And what fun is a world in which you are unable to change?

It is the lesson I am most thankful for.  Learning to be OK with where I am.  To accept it.  And to keep plugging along, whether the days are smooth like a lake in the morning, or challenging and scary... a day in which your footing just isn't always sure.

It's life.  And if I can't accept and be OK with where I am, how can I expect others to be just as OK with where I am?  Being where you are. In the present. In the moment.  Living.

Random Musings

A random thought post, because I am procrastinating in writing a paper that is due in 1 hour.

I only have to write the final conclusion and fix my reference page.

And instead, I am blogging. Because I said I would write more, and well.... I clearly didn't.

I don't have internet in my new apartment right now, so I have to make sure that I am successful every time that I go to a place with WiFi. I am bringing my computer with me everywhere now, don't worry blogging universe. Maybe I'll get internet this week..... that would be nice.

Either way. I still procrastinate. Because I am awesome.

Also, I am not sleeping anymore. Does anyone out there have any suggestions?!? And I am pretty sure that I am sleep walking. Because I keep waking up with bruises. And I seriously don't want to be that girl who is taking tylenol PM every night, but holy cow it may have gotten to that point. Because I need sleep, people.

School is over on Friday. I am doing research this summer, but at least all of my classes assignments will be done this week for the semester.

Also, side note. HOLY FOR THE LOVE!!?? Why do grad students NOT know how to do presentations? It's not acceptable any longer.

((Ooooh my professor just showed up to the cafeteria. I am writing her paper. Due in 55 minutes. Eeeeeekkk)).

But seriously. I have a class. These people are SO BAD at giving presentations. They actually were talking to EACHOTHER during a group presentation. Like looking at eachother confused as to why there was something up on the slide twice. Well..... you put it there.

Clue in people.

ALSO. When one participates in a group project? It is not appropriate to then send an email asking for money so that one can run for Miss New York state. I am in social work school. I work 3 jobs. I don't have money for you to go be a fake contestant for a pageant that doesn't really do much for women.

Gah.

Sorry.

Ok. Paper. Go. Ugh, let it be summer already.

And sleep remedies? Anyone? Please? I don't drink coffee anymore. Ever. I thought that might help. But it hasn't. So I'm going to starbucks. Eff this game.