Changing expectations

There comes a point when you have to realize what can be, and what will never be.

This is quite obviously, not a San Diego update. That will come this evening, because I’m currently writing a whole bunch of computers to just try and get my head back to where it needs to be.

My last day at my full time job is tomorrow.

Tomorrow. (Kinda makes you want to sing “Annie” doesn’t it?)

However, the woman who is replacing me, has now had 2 weeks in which to semi grasp what the job description is. Ask questions. Ask how she needs to be doing things.

She hasn’t.

The questions she has asked, though? How do you open a document when you’re already in Word?

How do you turn on and off the computer?

How do I type a list if there is already something written here?

Training her on customer service skills and how to answer a phone in a professional environment, instead of just answering with a “Hello.”

I don’t mean for this blog post to be offensive. I don’t mean for it to be bitchy. I don’t mean for it to be a rant.

But it is a way for me to be able to express myself, and my frustrations. And I am frustrated to the point of exasperation and high blood pressure. I almost don't know how to answer these questions. Because honestly, I have never had to teach someone that when you are in a professional environment, you don't answer a phone "hello."

((You also never bring religious books in either, especially ones about "Finding your better God" because it makes many people uncomfortable. Including the physician you share an office with. Who works with children who sometimes die of their cancer, and it's awful. But that's a story for a different time I think...))

My father has taught me to do things right the first time. “Touch it once, Whitney, and let it be done the proper way. You’ll never have to go back and do it again.”

My office is covered in post it notes that say the same thing. Because the same questions are being asked, over and over and over again. There is zero ability to multi-task. There is literally no ability to retain information that has been given more than once. In fact, there isn’t even any recognition that the information has already been given to her.

I worked hard to make the program run in a way that was successful over the past 2+ years. I worked hard to make it organized, and to be sure I was receiving comments from students that were “this is the most organized a clerkship has been all year.”

And now, for all of that work, to feel like it’s slipping away and was for nothing? I’m sad to leave; I’m certainly not going to miss everyone I work with. But I am going to miss making sure that there are students who were being taken care of in a way that was aiming to make them as successful as they wanted to be.

And now I’m nervous for these new students. I am nervous for this woman. Because students who pay over $60,000 a year to go to school? They want things done right the first time.

And it’s not going to happen.

PYHO: This must be happy?

It's Wednesday, and it's time for Pour Your Heart Out, with Shell. As always, be nice, link up, but keep in mind that people are in fact, putting themselves out there.

Today, I am happy.

Today, was the first day that I trained the "new me."

Today, I will spend time with JM, the man who has grown so much recently and become the man I love.

Today, I smile because I know that I am more and more like myself these days.

Today, I am happy.

Today, I am glad for my family, and my sister who passed her nursing boards, and for my friends who got to spend time with their family.

Today, I am happy that I heard from SR's mom, and that they are doing well.

Today I am happy to have reconnected with a friend who shares a love for sprinkles, sparkles and bling.

Today, although it's wicked hot outside (and no, I am not from Boston, but seriously, how cool would that be) I will smile through the sweat.

Today, I am looking forward to a vacation with that man that I love.

Today, I am excited for tomorrow. I am excited for the smiles. The laughter, the memories. The fun. The tears.

And today, I'm seriously excited that JM is folding socks, because who actually likes that part of the laundry? ;)

My last day as a free coordinator

Well, here it is Tuesday again.

And after a weekend of sun tanned bliss, it's back to work.

Ugh. This however is my last day as a "single" student coordinator. The woman who is taking my job starts "training" with me tomorrow.

See, here's the thing.

I started this blog while I was at work, because well... I didn't have much to do. I had all this down time. And while it's great, it's also kind of un-nerving. Because now I have to train this "older-than-me" woman on how to do my job.

Not that there's anything wrong with it.

I just don't know how I'm going to do it.

"So this is the time that I spend catching up on my favorite blogs."

"This is when I go on facebook."

This is when I spend time talking to my mom on the phone.

Oh, and this other 90 minute span of time spread throughout the day? Yea, that's when I actually have some work to do. Because seriously, this job doesn't require 40 hours.

What the eff am I going to do?! Maybe I'll help her set up her own blog... or maybe I'll just have to get over the fact that I am leaving AMC, and well... I'm going to have to give this lady something to do. But seriously. Holy boredom for the next 3 weeks.

Good thing I'm going to San Diego next week ;) Ahhhhh vacation. Side note. If any of you lovely readers have any SanDiego suggestions, I'm all about it. JM and I are staying in the Gaslamp district at some swanky hotel.

yes, I just used swanky in that sentence. Get over it.

I'm going to have to play pretend grown-up. I'm so pumped! Or grownup that has a lot of money, when I actually don't. Greatest. Game. Ever.

Also, conversation with JM about this vacation:

JM: earlier in the week: "Babe, we should really look at SanDiego stuff, and plan some things out, I'm so excited!"

me (yesterday): "So maybe we should look at planning some of this trip babe, what do you think?"
JM: "Eh, I figure we'll just come up with a list of some stuff we want to do on the plane."
me: "Oh, ok, so we are just 'rolling with it' for the week?" (insert mild panic)
JM "Hmm. Yea, I guess.... zzzzzz. zzzzzzz. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Guess it's a roll with it kind of vacation. And while I'm ok with it, eh.. would reallllllly love some input from anyone that has some!

The one where I'm bored at work...

As I am sure we can tell... I'm super bored at work.

Team Photo Shoot.

You can see my desk. And how absolutely thrilled I am to be here today.

Gotta love the pink sweater. And the super cool headband. It has sparkles on it.

Be jealous. ;)

Just to point out... the April version

There is a blog that I read that every once in a while does a post on "And another thing" it's kind of a compilation of things that people just totally forget about in real life.

So, just to point out:
When you go to a bar (or restaurant), tipping a quarter is completely rude and totally unacceptable. If you can't tip 20% seriously, don't go out. Tipping is part of the deal, and the days of 15% being ok are gone. Please see here for more details.

Wedding invite lists should either be all, or none. Especially in the work place. It creates drama. And if you are a person who likes to create that type of drama, have a good explanation for why.

Mindless busy work projects for school is a total waste of time. If you want me to do something that is going to further my education, don't make it a stupid project with few guidelines and zero examples. It's annoying. And you're wasting my time.

The weather needs to be sunny a lot more often. This whole "today it's sunny and beautiful and tomorrow it's rainy and gray and gross and depressing" really isn't good for anyone's psyche.

And just because it's over 60 degrees doesn't mean that I should be able to see your totally winter bod out in public quite yet. If you didn't go to the gym over the winter season, please don't turn into a supermodel and think you're totally hot. I don't (because I haven't been to the gym) and neither should the people (especially women) who weigh a solid 50-100 lbs more than me. Not. Attractive. Figure it out.

Just because I am a Red Sox fan doesn't make me a terrorist, a sleeper cell, nor does it mean that I support Al Quaeda and 9/11. Thank you to any Yankee fan that proves just how ignorant a group of people can be.

Being 23 years old doesn't give you the right to speak to me as if I am uneducated, and undeserving of an adult conversation. If you speak in a demeaning way to me, I will do the same to you, and I will make you feel like an idiot for it. Especially in emails.

16 weeks is a really, really long time to wait to be done with a job that doesn't challenge you, where you're staying for health insurance reasons.

School advisors that are supposed to be helping me figure out my class schedule/internship should really have a faster than 15 day turn around for an email response.

People shouldn't maintain employment if they really suck at their jobs. There's enough unemployed people who are great at working, who deserve to have a job but can't get one because there's people that are dinosaur age who just can't get fired.

Butler really should have won the NCAA championship game. Duke, for all their fabulous name recognition, didn't play like a championship deserving team. Just sayin.

Not eating chicken and beef is turning out to be a lot easier than I thought it was going to.

I will have a puppy at the end of July, even if JM says he doesn't think I'll go through with it. I know deep down he's kind of excited.

I have had green extensions in my hair for over 2 weeks. Just noticing them now seems slightly awkward.

"Please" and "Thank you" are not expressions that should just be dropped in the 21st century. Make sure that the people in your life are appreciated, you never know when they may not be around anymore.

I think that covers most of it for now, but who knows... maybe we'll have a monthly "Just to point out" post. Any other thoughts my lovely 13 followers?

*>Ooohhh an update! I have 14 followers! Thank YOU my faithful 14!<*

The List

Warning:: This may be a work related rant. This does not include every person of the specific group of people I am going to talk about.

After an eventful Friday at AMC (aka, the full-time job), I decided people should know that I have "The List."

This is a list that the public should be aware of.

After working with med students for almost 2 years, it has come to my attention that some people just should have done more soul searching before they decided that practicing medicine was what they should do in life.

Seriously. I work with 3rd year medical students. As in, students who are in their second-to-last-year-before-they-can-write-MD-after-their-name.

And some of these students I would not allow to touch my worst enemies dog with a 10 foot pole. Therefore, I have a "list" of students who, when they become Drs, would be allowed to come near any member of my family. This list, is MUCH shorter than the list of Drs who will NOT be allowed near anyone I have ever met.

The things that students can come to you about seem to be ridiculous. I have spoken with the students who I would allow to be my families physician about this. There are groups of people who just don't seem to grasp #1) professionalism and #2) how to talk to people with respect, and or deal with the public.

Med students have to INTERVIEW to get into programs. How some of these people get into these schools is shocking. Some of them have ZERO people skills. Some of them have been spoon-fed so far through life that when they meet me, they are... how would you like to say... shocked that I am not going to feed into the "medical school babying" that occurs.

I tell them that I give them everything they need to succeed. Literally, everything. And yet, the silly questions and the silly phone calls and just the pure silliness that comes my way is astounding.

Totally not cool.

And yet, there are people like JS who are going to absolute MEDICAL ALL STARS. Seriously, Dallas, you don't even know what you're getting in June. I might just have to take my very future, far off children to the ERs in Dallas, because well... you can best believe from working with certain students, I am not going to be going to AMC's ER.

Don't get me wrong. Not every student is unintelligent. For example, take this picture for instance. It's the "How to figure out what you should actually do as a Dr flow chart." It's fabulous. And completely accurate.

I figure, that if students can't talk to the people who are looking to help them succeed through their $200,000 of debt, they really shouldn't be talking to real life patients. Ever.

Rarr. Hear. Me. Roar. Because sometimes, people need to realize the path you signed up for. And for med students, it's that you're going to be a Dr. That means being on call, working during holidays, being tired, figuring things out on your own, perservering, staying organized, and working with others effectively. The. End.

Imperfect Life sometimes just g*d sucks.

And yes, that title of the post is from the Dr with whom I share an office.

And actually, the quote was. "What the f***. Cancer sucks and life is so G*D unfair."

Let me back up.

I work in a hospital.
I share an office with a pediatric hematologist/oncologist.
Yes, oncology.
Cancer doctor.
Yes, kids cancer doctor.
And sometimes, there are just those 5 year old girls that walk into clinic when you first start over 18 months ago, and grab your heart by the strings and don't let go.

And now, this girl is 6. And she's dying. And it just sucks.

So while I sit here, wallowing in my pity and tears and emotionally over-eating, I am asking myself why I am becoming a social worker. Because the lump in my throat is making it impossible to talk, or think. Because this girl and this family deserve nothing of what they have been dealt. This is the family with the parents you wish could parent every child out there. The mother who is rock. And the kids who are so funny and so energetic and lifelike. And the daughter who has stolen my heart.

So, putting it plainly... sometimes life is just crappily unperfect. Super, crappily, shit. Unfair, unwanted, and completely undeserved. It drives you crazy. And to the cookies. Good thing there was a panera delivery for lunch today.