Sunday, September 2, 2012

25: The Year of Rebuilding

New Year's Resolutions are such a waste.  People make them, they never keep them. And they don't always remember what it is that they did the year before that actually got them to think that they need to change something.

Birthday recaps and resolutions are different.  There's a new (ugh) higher number.  There's memories and changes and updates. So, on this day of my birth, I give you: 25. The Year of Rebuilding.

25 was...
A year to rebuild.
I found myself again after not knowing or feeling lost for a long time.
I spent time with friends and family that were important to me. People who I had neglected for a long time.
I spent time in Texas with my bestest friend! In fact, she and her wonderful husband helped me ring in 25.
I went on vacation. (A couple of times).
I cooked great meals. And some not so great.
I worked.
I left a job.
I found a new one.
I survived my internship.
I went to school. And then I graduated. And then I moved.

And then I moved again.
I met and made new friends. And rediscovered some oldies but goodies.
I got mad.
I got in fights (not physical ones, silly!).
I healed a broken heart. And throughout? I cried. A lot.
I planned a fundraiser, and raised a ton of money for a foundation and cause I am passionate about.
I shaved my head.
I rediscovered my passions (or some of them).
I lost someone.
I look for signs.
I bought myself flowers.
I had someone else buy me flowers.
I built a bed.
I got tan lines.
I made a quilt.
I spent time with my brother, in the same town, in the same house (which we haven't done since I left for college).
I moved a grandparent into a nursing home.
I remembered that being happy is important. And that keeping something because it's comfortable isn't always the best move.

I've had change, hard conversations, tears, laughter, days and weeks and months of not knowing what is coming next. I've had moments when I didn't care what was coming next. I had moments that the only thing that got me through was dreaming of what was coming next. I've adjusted, re-adjusted, and adjusted again. I struggled. It was the time to rebuild and re-find what I had felt like was lost for so long. I found my sass (again). And my humor.

25 was the year I lived.  And 26? Well 26 will be another year in which I live too. But maybe I won't have to struggle so much to find what it is that I thought was lost. I'm sure it will have struggles. And fights and tears and change and moments. But whatever it brings, I think I'm ready for it.

1 comment:

  1. I love this. Self-reflection is totally important and you have been a champion this year, my friend. You have worked through SO much and really WORKED through it, not just being an inactive bystander to life...there is so much value there and so much benefit. I would say something about character building, but I always hate it when people tell me that when I am going through the depth of hardness and so I won't even go there...<3. I love you oodles and just know that somewhere along the line, God used some of the same paint for you as for me...there's no other explanation for such soul resonating friendship. Hugs...I am so proud of you for choosing the hard road of sorting through this past year. You really are a warrior princess amazing woman <3