Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Imperfect Life sometimes just g*d sucks.

And yes, that title of the post is from the Dr with whom I share an office.

And actually, the quote was. "What the f***. Cancer sucks and life is so G*D unfair."

Let me back up.

I work in a hospital.
I share an office with a pediatric hematologist/oncologist.
Yes, oncology.
Cancer doctor.
Yes, kids cancer doctor.
And sometimes, there are just those 5 year old girls that walk into clinic when you first start over 18 months ago, and grab your heart by the strings and don't let go.

And now, this girl is 6. And she's dying. And it just sucks.

So while I sit here, wallowing in my pity and tears and emotionally over-eating, I am asking myself why I am becoming a social worker. Because the lump in my throat is making it impossible to talk, or think. Because this girl and this family deserve nothing of what they have been dealt. This is the family with the parents you wish could parent every child out there. The mother who is rock. And the kids who are so funny and so energetic and lifelike. And the daughter who has stolen my heart.

So, putting it plainly... sometimes life is just crappily unperfect. Super, crappily, shit. Unfair, unwanted, and completely undeserved. It drives you crazy. And to the cookies. Good thing there was a panera delivery for lunch today.

1 comment:

  1. Whit you have a huge heart and these children you work with have made you the caring/rock you are today. Keep it up and never question why you are becoming a social worker these people need you to make them smile during their last days of life.